Jacqui13's Xanga

blog move!

Tue, 27 Oct 2009 17:30:08 GMT

hello everyone! (if you're still keeping track of my almost non-existent blog)

i have been lured over to the dark side of...

tumblr!

if you're still interested in reading about my (dull) life / checking out my photos or music or whatever, do follow me on http://jacqui13.tumblr.com/

thanks

Sunday, August 17, 2008

Sun, 17 Aug 2008 19:01:37 GMT

I think this song is about you and me.

Sunday, June 15, 2008

Sun, 15 Jun 2008 18:56:39 GMT

OneRepublic's "Say (All I Need)" has been looping on my media player for a few days now.

Do you know where your heart is?
Do you think you can find it?
Or did you trade it for something
Somewhere better just to have it?

Do you know where your love is?
Do you think that you lost it?
You felt it so strong,
But nothing's turned out how you wanted

You're a lonely soul
Cause you won't let go
Of anything you hold

Well, all I need
Is the air I breathe
And a place to rest my head

Do you know what your fate is?
And are you trying to shake it?
You're doing your best and
Your best look
You're praying that you make it

Well, all I need
Is the air I breathe
And a place to rest
My head

Do you think you can find it?
Better than you have it

Do you know where the end is?
Do you think you can see it?

to several people...

Sat, 07 Jun 2008 17:27:49 GMT

I'm tired of being used. I'm tired of being the one you call the night before... at the eleventh hour.

I'm tired of being the one you ask for for updates when you missed out on something, the one who's your spare tyre, the one whom you call on only when you need something. Once you get it, you're out the front door, without time for it to even slam back jarringly on its hinges. Leaving me behind. Like so many before you have.

I'm tired of seeing your name on my caller ID, of seeing my phone ring and vibrate while you try to get your 30 seconds' worth of information. I've never even said more than 10 words to you in my entire life, and you're doing this to me? Asking things like that of me? Heh... Ridiculous.

I don't know everything. I never proclaimed I did. So stop calling me that. Stop it. 'Cause I really, really hate it. Is that all you really know me by? That girl who goes by that name... whom you say hi to every once in a while but who's not really worth your precious time? Heh... Yeah, I don't warrant anything more than that, so stop wasting my time, stop playing around with me.

You know what I hate most, though? That I let you do all this to me. Stupid, stupid me.

Stupid Jacqui who's too kind for her own good. Who's too gullible. Too nice. Too eager to please everyone. Too 'perfect'. Whatever. Call it what you want to call it.

How many of you actually mean what you say? How many of you actually stick around?

People move on, I know. People change. I've seen more than enough of that to know how real it is. Yet it still hits me everytime. It still stings.

I wonder what it's like to be you. You. You. And you over there. Happily smiling in those pictures. Laughing. Having the time of your lives. I wonder what it's like. I think it must be nice. Really nice, in fact. And I'm jealous of you. Yes, I really am. Not easy to admit, and not something I'm proud of - hardly, in fact. But yes, I am. But I'm working on it too. I really am, my Lord. I know I've changed, in a few ways, but still... I'm trying very hard to. Trying to let go of everything. Trying to go back to before.

Don't treat me like this again, please? Don't be so inconsiderate. 'Cause I get hurt really easily. And I'll cry. And lose my way. Lose my focus. And lose my purpose.

More goodbyes coming up. More painful realizations. More farewells. More waiting...

Where are you...? I need you now... Sigh....

Sunday, April 13, 2008

Sun, 13 Apr 2008 15:39:04 GMT

"And you ask me what I want this year... And I try to make this kind and clear - Just a chance that maybe we'll find better days... Coz I don't need boxes wrapped in strings... And designer love and empty things... I need someplace simple where we can live... And something only you can give... "

-- The Goo Goo Dolls - "Better Days"

Saturday, April 05, 2008

Sat, 05 Apr 2008 18:10:54 GMT

Jars of Clay - "Silence"

Take...
Take till there's nothing.
Nothing to turn to...
Nothing when you get through.
Won't you break...?
Scatter pieces of all I've been...

Did you leave me unbreakable?
Did you leave me frozen?
I've never felt so cold
I thought you were silent...
And I thought you left me
For the wreckage and the waste
On an empty beach of faith
Was it true?

'Cause I... I got a question...
I got a question...
Where are you...?

more song lyrics

Fri, 07 Mar 2008 19:01:06 GMT

Hmmm. I never quite paid attention to the lyrics of Dave Matthews Band's "The Dreaming Tree". Great song, great lyrics.

"Standing here
The old man said to me,
'Long before these crowded streets
Here stood my dreaming tree.'
Below it he would sit
For hours at a time
Now progress takes away
What forever took to find
And now he's falling hard
He feels the falling dark
How he longs to be
Beneath his dreaming tree...

Now she's falling hard
Feels the fall of dark
How did this fall apart?
She drinks to fill it up
A smile of sweetest flowers
Wilted so and soured
Black tears stain the cheeks
That once were so admired
She thinks when she was small
There on her father's knee
How he had promised her,
'You'll always be my baby.'
'Daddy come quick,
The dreaming tree has died
I can't find my way home
There is no place to hide
The dreaming tree has died.'"

tagged by soo tian

Mon, 25 Feb 2008 16:32:14 GMT

I have been tagged! Heh

Game rules:
For those who are being tagged, you need to answer 20 questions (choose any 19 questions from the one who has tagged you, and add 1 question of your own).

You can't tag the one who has tagged you.

1. What was your dream in your childhood?
Hmmm I had many dreams. =P If you're referring to what I dreamt of becoming, I think it'd be one of those glamorous lawyers like in Ally McBeal. Complete with all the drama and wacky happenings. Heh.

2. You prefer a rainy day or sunny day? And why?
Sunny days! Rainy days are depressing. They're cold, dark, and rain just hampers mobility. Traffic moves slower, visibility is reduced. You have to carry an umbrella everywhere and get soaking wet and step in puddles and stuff.

3. What colour do you like most?
Somewhere in between pink and red. I never really decided what colour it was exactly. Magenta, perhaps? =P

4. Which place on earth do you want to go the most?
Oooh. I wanna go to lots of places. Latin America, Europe... I can't decide really. Heh. =P

5. What would you do when you are in deep sadness?
Cry and listen to sad music. Heh.

6. What are you scared to lose in your life?
My loved ones.

7. If you ever meet someone that you love, what would you do to her/him?
Eh? Errr... Show them gestures of love/affection? =P Pretty obvious isn't it.

8. List out 3 good points of the one who tagged you.
Has a good head on his shoulders (that pretty much just sums it all up though heh =D), is very worldly in my opinion, and is very mature.

9. Until now, what is the moment that you regret most?
Er... Losing this friendship of mine back in high school.

10. Which type of person you hate most?
Those who just step all over you without any regard for your feelings.

11. What is your ambition?
To become someone influential enough to make at least a slight difference or impact in the world. More specifically to be able to touch other people's lives and inspire them.

12. What is the thing that will make you think he/she is bad.
Hmmm, bad? In what sense though? Basically if he/she has no regards for other people's feelings, is selfish, inconsiderate.

13. What is the most important thing in your life?
I have many important things in my life. I can't just pick one though. Heeh.

14. When do you wish to settle down?
Probably when I'm around 25/26 years old.

15. Outer attractiveness or inner attractiveness, which one do you prefer?
Inner attractiveness, anytime. Outer attractiveness just makes for good eye candy! Heeh.

16. If you ever want to let go of something in your life, what would it be?
Er, something in my life? Maybe my tendency to bulldozer over people's feelings sometimes without realizing it. Or without realizing it until it's too late.

17. One food in your mind right now!
Pasta. Carbonara.

18. What is your motto?
Hmmm I don't really have a motto. Carpe diem? =P Seize the day/opportunity, don't hesitate.

19. What is your favourite part of the chicken (to eat, duh)?
Er, leg and thigh. Heh.

20. If you could have one superpower, what would it be?
Invisibility! Heeh.

Tagging:
Ce-yan, Katyana, James, Jo Jo.

*Note: Jacqui is sicccckkkkk. *whines to the people around her* Heh.

wheeee

Sat, 05 Jan 2008 14:59:32 GMT

Happy New Year to everyone who's reading this!

And a belated Merry Christmas too. Although it's the 12th day today. Heehee.

And guess what? Switchfoot is coming to KL!!! Whoo hoo! Heeh.

Already got my tickets =) Switchfoot here I come!

my accident =(

Wed, 12 Dec 2007 16:31:47 GMT

Hello people =P

I got my thumb caught in a door on Sunday. I know that doesn't sound very monumental, but I still wanna whine about it and get some sympathy in the process. Heehee.

The door was really, really heavy, and made my nail crack right about halfway across. Blood started oozing out and didn't stop for the next hour and a half or so. It hurt soooo much and was throbbing the whole night heh =P

Fuelled by my paranoia of a bacterial infection and/or gangrene, I went to a doctor heh. Because of the dried blood covering the surface of my nail, he thought there was internal bleeding at first and wanted to stick a needle under my nail to dig all the blood out. Urrgghh, how horrible. I cringe at the thought of that heh.

Anyway, it turns out it isn't so bad, or that's what he said on Sunday =P The severe bruising and swelling was probably because of the impact of the door and not internal bleeding or things like that. Heh.

I've been stocked up on antibiotics and painkillers, and I'm supposed to wait for the nail to grow out and see what happens first. I'm seeing him again on Sunday, and hopefully it grows out alright and falls off by itself, if not the doc will have to remove it or something. Another cringe-worthy scenario =P

Now more or less my whole thumbnail is badly bruised and looks rather sickly heh. The other day it looked like a Paddle Pop rainbow ice cream coz it was yellow, purple, green, and blue all at the same time heehee Today, it's looking rather dark purple more than anything else =P Shook some people's hands yesterday and I think some of them caught sight of my thumb. My brother says he would be scared if he was them and think it was diseased or something lol =D

Anyway, it doesn't hurt so much anymore. Or at least I don't scream "Ow!!" everytime someone even brushes against it heh. Kinda nice to have people do stuff for you too =D My thumb has become a universal excuse =D People peel and cut you an apple, do the dishes, laundry, etc etc. Coz I normally do all that myself =P But yeah, I know the laundry can be done without a thumb =P And I still do it. Just added it in for oomph heeh. I'm such a drama queen, right =P I knowwww. Heeheehee.

You wouldn't believe how hard it is to do normal things though =P The world is so unfriendly to thumbless people. *disgruntled* I can't even tie my hair! Or put on my watch and necklace. Or push one of those liquid soap bottles. Or turn the key in the lock. Or turn a doorknob. Or start my car engine. Or unfasten the seat belt (when I'm in the passenger seat). Or pick up a glass without handles. Or turn pages. Or hold a mouse and type like I used to heh.

I was rather amused myself when I was fumbling in my wallet for change the other day. The guy waiting for his 20 sen from me was waiting for at least 30 seconds lol =D I can't even pick up a coin properly! Heh. I'm sorry I took you for granted, thumb. And it had to be my right thumb too =P *mutters to herself*

Sigh. Jacqui needs nursing. Take pity on her! Heeh.

Other than that, I'm doing fine =P I feel like baking again. Lol. But I think I have to wait for my thumb to heal first =P Stirring and mixing stuff isn't easy without a right thumb. Heh.

Thank goodness I put up my Christmas tree the night before my thumb went out of commission.

I want my nice, clean, pink nail back. Sigh.